Stripes Are in Season for Paris Hilton

A judge ruled today that Paris Hilton will spend 45 days in jail at Century Regional Detention Facility for driving on a suspended license. Hilton will have the chance to make the acquaintance of 2200 other detainees, who, I'm sure, will welcome the errant heiress into their arms.

Paris is scheduled to turn herself in for her jailhouse stint on June 5. The "hard time" will only allow her one hour a day to shower, exercise, talk on the phone, or watch TV.

Which do you think Paris will choose?

Perhaps after she makes nice with all her new firends, she can become prison pen pals with Joe Francis.

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Celebrity Jail News!

Today should be listed as the day all the celebrities went to jail, or at least got warrants issued for their arrest.

To start our little pity party off, we have Brit actor Hugh Grant who was arrested on assault charges after he pelted a photographer with a container of baked beans. No really. Baked beans. Grant also allegedly kicked the guy 3 times after coating him in the sticky mess. To add insult to bean induced injury, Grant then allegedly asked the pap if he had kids. When he said that indeed he did, good old Hugh responded with, "I hope they die of f**king cancer."

Next on our newly infamous list is Richard Gere, who offended the entire country of India by planting a kiss on Bollywood beauty Shilpa Shetty's cheek. An arrest warrant has been issued by Indian courts, and ultimately it could mean three months in jail for Gere.

Judge Dinesh Gupta issued the warrants in Jaipur, according to the Press Trust of India, saying that Gere and actress Shilpa Shetty "transgressed all limits of vulgarity" during their appearance at an HIV/AIDS event, captured on tape. Judge Gupta also called the TV footage "highly sexually erotic," and slammed Shetty for not resisting Gere's "advances."

This follows the recent debacle of Elizabeth Hurley's and Arun Nayar's wedding in India, where arrest warrants were issued for Hurley as well for breaching Hindu custom. As a matter of fact, the wedding photos which Hurley sold to Hello! magazine may ultimately be used as evidence against her in an Indian court of law.

Among the allegations are that Hurley refused to take off her shoes when they arrived at the marriage mandap (marriage place) and that she drank alcohol.

Pictures of the pair kissing in Hello! will be used to show that they failed to "behave soberly'', while it was noted that kissing is also against Hindu culture.

If found guilty of a "deliberate and malicious act" against the religion, both Hurley and her husband Arun face a three-year jail sentence.

Moving right along, next on the detainee list is rapper/actress, Eve. It seems Eve crashed her gold Maserati into a center divider on Hollywood Boulevard, and cops took her in on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol. She was released this morning on $30,000 bail.

And of course there is our perennial jailbird Joe Francis, who is probably regretting bending over for a bar of soap this morning. His cell mate is awaiting a sentence of death for killing a police officer, and he probably feels he doesn't have much to lose at this point in his life. What's a little lovin' between friends, right? Okay, I conjecture about the bending over for the soap part. Anywhoo, Francis is still in jail, and more legal woes just keep coming his way. This time he's been charged with one count of misdemeanor sexual battery against an 18 year old girl. If convicted of these new charges, he could face an additional 6 months in jail, on top of whatever he gets for the federal time for tax evasion, et al.

Joe Francis Feels Sting of Rejection From Jail

Joe Francis is feeling the burn as none of his so-called celebrity friends will pick up the phone when he has called collect from jail.

The Girls Gone Wild mogul has been reaching out to his celebrity friends - he wants them to write letters defending his character to the judge. These are the same celebrities who didn't hesitate to accept Joe's hospitality when he was on top of the world. They flew in his Gulfstream jet and enjoyed his Caligula-like parties in LA, Miami, Mexico, etc. Paris and Nicky Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Tara Reed, Kimberly Stewart, Jessica Alba, Mario Lopez, and MANY more, wallowed in his celebrity ass-kissing. Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn were among the droves who enjoyed his generosity and hospitality at his Cabo beachfront mansion. Now they won't give him the time of day. Joe has been calling collect from jail all over Hollywood, begging people he thought were his friends to accept his call or call him back. No response. Joe is very upset and he told one friend that he just MIGHT be tempted write a tell-all book detailing those celebrity get-togethers and all the drugs and sex secrets!

Oh snap! Of course this is after he did go on Howard Stern and told the world about his sexcapades with various starlets, by name of course. I wonder what else he has to tell at this point?

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Joe Francis Can't Seem to Catch a Break This Week

This week 'Girls Gone Wild' honch Joe Francis got himself arrested at an airport while allegedly on his way to the cops to turn himself in on contempt of court charges. Unfortunately for Francis, now he's been slapped with indictments for federal tax evasion, for illegally deducting over $20 million in phony receipts from previous tax returns.

Court documents say that Francis transferred millions of dollars from an offshore bank account to a U.S. brokerage account. If found guilty, Francis could face 10 years in prison and $500,000 in fines.

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Joe Francis Gets Socked in the Jaw

Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis just can't seem to catch a break. This time Francis got smacked in the jaw by the boyfriend of a Brazilian model he was flirting with in a club.

A guy went wild with jealousy and punched "Girls Gone Wild" creator Joe Francis in the head Saturday night at the Miami club Cameo. Francis, who'd been sipping Bacardi mojitos, was in the company of socialites Anna Anisimova and Tinsley Mortimer but paying more attention to a group of Brazilian models. The boyfriend of one of the South American sirens took offense and initiated the violence, a source said. After the assault, a weary Francis was escorted from the scene by security.

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Girls Gone Wild Restaurants Coming Soon

Joe Francis, creator of 'Girls Gone Wild', is soon to add the title restauranteur to his resume. Francis plans to open diners in Cancun and Cabo San Lucas, Mexico that feature a topless theme.

He tells the Los Angeles Business Journal, "You'll be comfortable going in there, but you're gonna get a Girls Gone Wild experience." And Francis has big plans to take the new venture international. He adds, "In some countries, we'll do topless optional at night."

Francis didn't specify if the ones to be topless were the employees or the patrons.

The restaurants are set to open by the end of 2007.

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Antonella Barba: Next Stop Girls Gone Wild?

In case she gets voted off American Idol this week, soft porn internet star Antonella Barba may have a shot at a second career. Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis has offered Barba $250,000 to host his videos.

"Antonella Barba is an unbelievably sexy girl who obviously knows how to have a good time," said Francis, whose company, Mantra Films Inc., is based in Los Angeles. "Why are people being ridiculed and punished for being sexual? It's ridiculous."

I assume Francis wants her to basically recruit drunken girls to bare their breast for his videos, rather than bare hers on camera. Though I think from the looks of her pictures on the net that she's always about one drink away from whipping off her clothes anyway.

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Tara Reid's Side of the Story

I love, love, LOVE the Crazy Days and Nights blog. Too much fun, and EL is a trip. Here is his story about running into Tara Reid at Clive Davis' Pre-Grammy party, and how she spills on Joe Francis and his mini-wiener and lack of bedroom skill.

Saturday Night - Clive Davis Party

I have joined literally a cast of thousands. I have now been hit on by Tara Reid. I must also say it was flattering. Later when I really thought about it, maybe not so flattering, but at the time it was nice. I asked her about Joe Francis and I guess everyone else did at the party also because her comments ended up in the NY Post. I did not actually see any yelling. All I heard was from her own mouth. She said he sucked in bed. The only thing he was good at was looking at the mirrors while having sex. He would not have sex unless he could look at himself and of course, the ever popular he was really small. Did I mention that she leaned over the table when she was talking to me, and I saw in person what millions have seen on the Internet?

Joe Francis Fallout After Stern Show

Tara Reid no longer wants to be Joe Francis' friend, after Francis called her "the worst lay" that he's ever had. The scarred starlet was approached at a party over the weekend by Francis, but she turned to him and said, "Get away from me! Never talk to me again!"

This after Francis appeared on Howard Stern's satellite radio show to talk about a leagl battle, and instead dished about his past sexual liaisons with Paris Hilton, Kim Stewart, and Reid.

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Bad, Bad, BAD Joe Francis

Source: Celeb News Wire
Creator of 'Girls Gone Wild', and general scum of the earth Joe Francis went on Howard Stern's radio show to talk about the lawsuit that he and Paris Hilton have against parisexposed.com. Unfortunately for Paris, Tara Reid, Kimberley Stewart, Lindsay Lohan and whomever else was unlucky enough to be mentioned, Joe Francis appeared to not be in control of what he was saying, or he just didn't care.

Francis intended to only talk about the legal aspects, but he ended up blowing the lid off (no pun intended) his sexcapades with aforementioned quartet of actresses/celebutards, and rated them in bed and orally.

Ay yi yi! Joe Francis has to be a drunken tard to open his mouth like that, and I can only imagine what the backlash will be from the frenemy girls.

Here's a few choice things he had to say:

1) Paris gives the better blowjob.
2) Tara was the worst in bed.
3) Tara was the only one he'd used a condom with.
3) Tara laid there like a dead fish, and apparently her nethers smelled like one too.
4) He would never have sex with Paris again in the future after seeing her medical documents on the website they are suing.
5) He also claims that he and Paris are not behind the website, but he goes on to mention the site by name several times, as if plugging it.

Hmmmm.

Karmic Sentence for Joe Francis

From Defamer

In what will surely go down as a black day for members of Hollywood's scenewhore elite who have found themselves on the wrong side of the law, Joe Francis--the world's foremost titty-flashing co-ed talent scout--has received a harsher community service sentence for failing to properly document his subjects' ages than his lawyers had bargained for:

The producer of racy videos featuring young -- and often naked -- women was sentenced today to 200 hours of community service over two years by a federal judge in Los Angeles and was placed on two years probation for failing to adequately document the ages of his subjects. The amount of time was double what Francis' lawyers had sought. [...]
Outside the courthouse, Francis said he was relieved the process was over and that he now felt free to say that he had been unfairly persecuted by the Justice Department.

"Of course I've been unfairly targeted by the government," Francis said. "What better target than Joe Francis?"
The sentence may put the Girls Gone Wild mogul in the same green-coveralls-and- reflective-vest league as close friend and confidante Paris Hilton, who was given the option of community service in exchange for reducing her DUI-related probationary period. (Ironically, it wasn't that long ago that both were working on the right side of the law, with Paris courageously delivering the crucial testimony that put Francis' dildo-wielding tormentor safely behind bars.)