Posts
GIORGIO ARMANI: Boo! It's me! HELLO!
POSH: God, I'm fabulous.
KAT(I)E: Hi Karl! Hi! It's me! Mrs. Cruise!
GIORGIO: KARL? I am not Karl Lagerfeld, runt. What kind of IDIOT would think I am Karl Lagerfeld?
KAT(I)E: Oh, wow. I'm sorry. It's just that you're both so... tan. Ha ha ha... ha.
GIORGIO: Quiet, Scientology Spice. Can you not see that I'm trying to start a conga line with the Queen of America?
POSH: That's f'ing right, darling. Thanks to the football deal for David, we're even MORE filthy, stinking rich.
KAT(I)E: That's great, ha ha! I'm so happy to be here! Kar... er, Giorgio, I just wanted to know...
GIORGIO: BUY A COUNTRY, you delicious pleated diva!
POSH: Too right I will.
GIORGIO: Take the Maldives. No one knows who owns those anyway! Make it Isla Victoria!
KAT(I)E: I think the Maldives...
GIORGIO: LIKE I SAID. Nobody knows.
POSH: I wonder if America will let me have Hawaii. It's closer. I'll pay cash.
GIORGIO: I will make you leis. FABULOUS leis of GLORY. With FEATHERS, just like mama used to make.
POSH: Damn, babes, you're WAY more fun than Karl Lagerfeld. All he does is scowl and glove-slap people. F'ing awkward sometimes if you ask me.
KAT(I)E: Sir, Mr. Armani, if I could just ask you about this dress...
GIORGIO: Or you could buy A SITCOM. We could be in one of those lively half-hour comedy shows! Where we live together and work in a pizza parlor that is also a tanning salon, and have strange neighbors with children who won't stop talking! IT WILL BE HUGE.
KAT(I)E: Yes! And I could play the...
GIORGIO: No, no, I want that Michelle Williams girl -- she's DYNAMITE.
POSH: Tanning and pizza, eh, Giorgio? We could call it Mystic Pizza.
GIORGIO: I've never heard of ANYTHING so divine, my queen. IT WILL CHANGE THE WORLD. Now, CONGA, you vixen!
KAT(I)E: Mr. Armani, if you'd just look at me for a second, I don't think these weird pleats...
GIORGIO: Child, no shop talk -- not when I'm about to break into the macarena. You know the rules.
POSH: Look at that. Giorgio Armani, following ME around. Wanting to ride MY coattails. My life is f'ing amazing.
KAT(I)E: My life is awful. He won't even look at me.
GIORGIO: Actress girl! We need an inanimate object to be the limbo rod. Can they use you?
KAT(I)E: Thank God I had this smile surgically locked in or else I would be SCREAMING at some people right now and then Tom would make me sit in the audit closet for a week.
POSH: Allegedly.
KAT(I)E: Oh, whatever.