Brit Tries to Distract the World From the VMA's By.....

Flashing her coochie AGAIN!!!!! Will this girl EVER learn????

NSFW kitty shot: Click here.

I can just imagine what was going through her pill-addled brain the night following her trainwreck performance.

"Wa-a-a-a-h!!!! What kin ah do real quick-like so's the fans'll fergit mah show.....? Ding dang, ya'll! I'll play hide mah panties agin! That'll learn 'em!"

Cartoon Brit

So much has already been said about the trainwreck that was Britney's VMA "performance", but I couldn't resist Pretty on the Outside's cartoon of the debacle.

Enjoy!

Britney's Comeback Trainwreck

Obviously Brit knew that her VMA performance sucked rotten eggs, because a source told US Weekly that she collapsed in tears backstage immediately after. The hot-boiled mess was also skewered on camera by everyone from Sarah Silverman to Steve-O.

Immediately following Spears’ glittery opening performance, Silverman
poked fun at the singer’s early rise to fame. “Was that incredible?" she asked the crowd. "She is amazing. I mean, she is 25 years old and she’s already accomplished everything she’s going to accomplish in her life.”

She continued: “It’s weird to think that just a few years ago on this very show, she was this, like, sweet innocent little girl in slutty clothes writhing around with a python. That’s not nice…calling Madonna a python.”

Even Spears’ sons, Jayden and Sean, who turn 1 and 2 next week, respectively, were fare game.

“Have you seen Britney’s kids? Oh my god, they are the most adorable mistakes you will ever see!” Silverman trilled. “They are as cute as the hairless vagina they came out of.”

Akon offered his reaction to Spears's performance, telling PEOPLE: "That could have been better. She needed to focus more. She looked nervous and I think the pressure got to her."

Common told PEOPLE about Spears: "I think it didn't seem like she wanted to be there. There wasn't any spark, it didn't feel like life was there."

In the meantime, every news outlet, blog, and website is proclaiming Britney is so over following her disastrous appearance last night. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what the popwreck does now for an encore.

Britney Just Can't Get Her Groove Back

From Brit's bad, bad weave, to her out of shape bod, to her puffy tummy, to her spangled black bikini and fishnets, to her really bad dance moves, everything about her comeback performance just screamed "Go Back!!" I think that after tonight Britney needs to retire on her reported $700,000 a month she makes in royalties, and just concentrate on being a better mom.

I was cringing the entire time I watched the 4 minute routine, if you can call it a routine. The lip synching was out of synch, the outfit was 2 sizes too small, the hairstylist should be shot, and the choreographer will never work again. Brit looked like she had just barely learned the choreography that day, and she was obviously nervous in front of the crowd. The reaction shots of the heavy hitters in the audience were priceless, because they were just as stunned as I was. There were a few mouths hanging open, and not in a good way. And where were all the illusion moves that mindfreaky Criss Angel was supposedly working on all this time with her??

This was a huge disaster for the popwreck, and I can't wait to see what all the other blogs will be saying about the performance, or lack thereof. The highlight was watching the dancers on the stripper poles that appeared on tables in the audience. At least it took my eyes temporarily away from the 10 car pileup jiggling about on stage.

Over-Exposed Furtado is Now Overly Blond

Nelly Furtado seems to be on every channel all the time these past couple of weeks, so it was no surprise to find US Weekly covering her newly blond do at a pre-VMA party in Vegas. No surprise, US had nothing else interesting to say about the singer, focusing on how she sat on her man's lap during the party and undid his shirt.

Whoop-de-doo.