Johngy's Take...Big Melon Gear

It's no secret that I have a big head. I don't mean I have a big ego (although that might be true, as well). I am talking about a oversized cranium. Even worse, unlike most people with large heads my extra cranial section isn't in width, but rather in height.
This causes problems when I try to buy a hat. I can't find any good baseball caps which sit comfortably on my head. Most end up perched an inch or so above my ears. Forget winter caps, too. They always appear to be stretched to their limit covering my head.
Recently, I thought someone finally solved my problem. I read about a company called Big Melon Gear, which aimed its products at people with large heads (aka big melons). I eagerly raced to my computer to check out their website. Alas, I was to be disappointed again.
I immediately clicked on their section on hats. One line stood out like a sore thumb. "A lot more room around and slightly more room in the crown", it read.
It seems even among the big headed people, I am still suffering from discrimination. Wide head people get a lot more room, but tall head people only get slightly more? What's up with that?
Once again I am forced to swallow the jagged pill of disappointment. Maybe some smart entrepreneur will see this and create the perfect sized hat for the extra tall heads out there. If someone does, I won't even want royalties (although a free hat or two would be nice).

Johngy's Take...Rev. Know-It-All

Recently, I discovered something in the church bulletin which confused and slightly irritated me. No, this is not going to be a religious rant. Apparently this feature has been running for a while, but I rarely read the bulletin and hadn't noticed it until now. I am talking about a feature called Reverend Know-It-All.
Rev. Know-It-All is based on Mr. Know-It-All from the old tv cartoon series, Rocky and Bullwinkle. Unfortunately, it lacks the humor and the contextual placement that the cartoon had. I don't even know where to begin with this.
The concept is that the Reverend answers questions sent in by followers. However, the questions are made up, as are the names (such as Otto B. Wanuvus). Some of the questions seem like they could start a good discussion (like "If God is loving, how can He allow suffering?"). However some don't even make sense (like "Can I own a Canadian?").
The answers are when it really gets odd. They use a mix of reality, farce and sarcasm. I'm no bible-thumper, but this all just seems so out of place. They are trying to be hip and clever, but they are failing miserably.
Additionally, the answers are long...really long. If their goal is to appeal to a younger audience with their sharp wit, they might want to rethink their tome-like responses.
Must my church (and others) sink to this level? Do we need a cheap knock-off of a animated cartoon legend to teach us lessons? Now these are questions I'd really like to ask Rev. Know-It-All!